My life with an idiot.
This series was inspired by my personal experiences with an abuser. I realized that although it is a story that repeats itself due to its nature, each one is different from the other. I felt it was necessary to write down the stories that happened during my 14-year relationship with an abuser. Today, 11 years after I left that relationship, I am able to write without having to stop. I believe that every woman who has experienced this will understand me. There will be no censorship in what we say, nor will it be polished like something from an NGO foundation's blog. Here, I speak with my own voice, about my story as it is, without filters or shame.
I named this series "My Life with an Idiot" because I believe that such individuals make us feel exactly that way! Like idiots who believe their manipulative nonsense. Who feel sorry for them or suffer from guilt for not helping them, etc. The phrase "I'll fix it," the belief that we will be the ones who will be different, and the refusal to see their true face when they have clearly shown it, simply trap us in a mouse trap from which it is extremely difficult and painful to escape.
The acquaintance.
We met in a luxurious house, where I, a 19-year-old girl, had never seen such opulence in my life. The choice I made that night would mark my life forever. Not only for the next 14 years, but for the rest of my life. Upon entering the house, we passed through the garage, then through several different rooms, and finally ended up in a garden with a barbecue that was larger than my apartment. There he was. Reclining on a sofa like a country tyrant. With a sly, smarmy smile that accentuated his blue eyes. He was much older than me, he looked like my own father! And it turned out to be so... That night was not what it was supposed to be. It was much more unpleasant. According to another person, we were just supposed to sit and have a drink. You don't think we just sat there and had a drink, do you? We quickly realized that things were not as they had been described to us, but we didn't see much point in protesting. I was on my period on top of everything else, but that didn't stop anyone. First, I had to be with the bigger of the two in the indoor pool of the house. And then I had to continue with the one who would remain a dark figure in my life for years to come. Things were just getting started, but the house was in a place where you could only get to by taxi, there were security guards, and of course there was no way to escape. I had to have sex with both of them. There was another girl with me, and she got away with just one of them. The bigger one fell asleep, and the other girl got away because the smaller one was busy with me. To my great regret, he didn't stop at the fact that I was on my period, nor was he bothered by the fact that the whole bed was covered in blood... it was all over him and everywhere. While the other one was sleeping in the same bed. When the little one finished, I went to wash up in the bathroom. I didn't have any more tampons or pads, so I rolled up a huge piece of paper and prayed that he would leave before I made my clothes as messy as the bed!The little one offered to drive us home, and my eyes lit up with joy. I thought everything was over. He took one of the cars in the garage and drove us home one by one, leaving me second!
